February 2012
32 posts
2 tags
Faber's First Law
“If there isn’t a law, there will be.”
- Harold Faber
1 tag
Occam's Razor
“Entities ought not to be multiplied except from necessity”
- William Of Occam
2 tags
Meskimen's Laws of Bureaucracies
(1) When they want it bad (in a rush), they get it bad.
(2) There’s never time to do it right, but always time to do it over.
- John K. Meskimen
1 tag
“Nothing real can defeat us. Nothing unreal exists.”
– Buckaroo Banzai - The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension
1 tag
Avery's Observation
“It does not matter if you fall down, as long as you pick up something from the floor while you get up”
1 tag
slapmyassandcallmeali:
14. Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work.
– In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you. But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.
Relevant.
Agent 3Z: Some of these are well known. Some are... →
lickypickystickyfree:
1. Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
2. Use a meat baster to “squeeze” your pancake batter onto the hot griddle - perfect shaped pancakes every time.
3. To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
4. To…
“Sex without smiling is as sickly and base as vodka and tonic without ice.”
– Moab Is My Washpot (via fuckyeahstephenfry)
“Eventually you will come to understand that love heals everything, and love is...”
– Gary Zukav (via lucifelle)
1 tag
The John Wayne Obsevation
“Life is tough, but it’s tougher when you’re stupid”
- John Wayne, pardner.
“I once read about five monkeys that were placed in a room with a banana at the...”
– “Youre not allowed to put things on the walls. It leaves holes.”
1 tag
“Goodness speaks in a whisper, but evil shouts”
– ancient Tibetan saying
1 tag
“Goodness shouts and evil whispers”
– ancient Balinese saying
“A man who views the world the same at fifty as he did at twenty has wasted...”
– Muhammad Ali
1 tag
First rule of "Shotgun"
“You must say the word “Shotgun” to stake your claim on Shotgun. This must be done clearly and loud enough so that at least one other to-be occupant of the vehicle can hear you. No variations of this word are acceptable. After you have rightfully called Shotgun, you have exclusive rights to Shotgun for that ride. However, if no one hears you call Shotgun it is still fair...
“Do not put anything that comes from the cat’s nose on your face please.”
– Me, from the yet to be published book “Things I never thought I would have to tell my kids” (via totalinnerbitch)
karma-rules:
3. Any action performed whose sole purpose is to gain karma results in a loss of karma.
Kreidt's Law
“Sanity and insanity overlap a fine gray line”
- Charles Van Kreidt
1 tag
Powell's Law
“Never tell them what you wouldn’t do.”
- Adam Clayton Powell
“Before enlightnment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightnment, chop wood,...”
– Zen Proverb (via dirtcrumbgoddess)
2 tags
Zimmerman's Law Of Complaints
“Nobody notices when things go right.”
1 tag
Ade's Law
“Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.”
- George Ade
2 tags
Law of Local Anesthesia
“Never say “Oops” in the operating room”
- Dr Leo Troy
1 tag
Fischer's Findings
“Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won’t either”
- Joseph Fischer
1612th:
the first rule of thesaurus club is that you don’t speak, talk about, discuss, chat about or communicate about thesaurus club
2 tags
The First Law Of Expert Advice
“Don’t ask the barber whether you need a haircut.”
- Daniel S. Greenberg
3 tags
The Patel Law for Determining The Presence of an...
“Count the number of Patels in the telephone book. Less than ten means no Indian restaurant; more than ten, you’re in luck. If you are bold enough, or, if you happen to be Indian, you can call one of the ten-or-more, and just ask them where to eat.”
- Abraham Verghese, M.D.
1 tag
Costello's Conclusion
“There are more Horses’ asses in this world than there are horses.”
- David F. Costello
2 tags
“Coffee is just a way to steal time from your slightly older self”
– Terry Pratchett
January 2012
33 posts
2 tags
Evil Overlord list - #45
“I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say “And here is the price for failure,” then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.”
1 tag
Astor's Axiom
“All women marry beneath them.”
- Nancy Witcher Langhorne Astor
3 tags
Belle's constant
“The ratio of time involved in work to time available for work is usually about 0.6”
- Oslen Belle
2 tags
Montagu's Maxim
“The idea is to die young, as late as possible.”
- Ashley Montagu, Anthropologist
2 tags
Kafka's Law
“In a fight between you and the world, back the world.”
- Franz Kafka
1 tag
The First Law of Holes
“If you are in one, stop digging”
2 tags
Mrs. Murphy's First Law, or, The Law of Perversity
“You cannot tell for certain ahead of time which side of the bread to put the butter on.”
1 tag
Flintstone's Teachings -
#5 - “Never put super-glue in a bowling ball”
1 tag
“The difference between perseverance and obstinacy is that one often comes from a...”
– Henry Ward Beecher (via nolagrrlnyc)
1 tag
reb-ellious:
Philosophy gives us questions that may never be answered.
Religion gives us answers that may never be questioned.
Murphy's Law # 241
reb-ellious:
If you spill something on your pants that makes it look like you wet yourself, you will encounter EVERYONE you know on the way to the restroom to clean youself up.
“One may suffer a world of demons for the sake of an angel.”
– Madame du Pompadour, The Girl in the Fireplace (Doctor Who)
2 tags
Firestone's law of forcasting
Chicken Little only has to be right once.
1 tag
Searle's Sage Example
The cussedness of inanimate objects is beyond understanding.
Rawson’s first corollary:
Never let an inanimate object know that you are in a hurry
Rawson’s second corollary:
Never let an inanimate object know that you are losing your temper, or it’s cussedness will just get worse.
2 tags
Runyon's Law
The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that’s the way to bet.
Golden principle
Nothing will be attempted if all possible objections must first be overcome.
3 tags
Skoda's reminder
“How are you doing?” is not a diagnostic question.